Are You a Cat or a Dog?

Last night we attended an Oscar party and the biggest surprise of the night was not Sean Penn beating Mickey Rourke for Best Actor….

No, the biggest surprise of the night was finding my husband, Jeff, confirmed Hater-of-Cats, gingerly petting the big, fat, fluffy gray cat of our hostess!

The cat was sitting on the kitchen table, next to Jeff, and he was caressing her with a smile on his face that looked like he was really enjoying himself.

One of the biggest regrets of my life is that I didn’t get a photo of this!

(And certainly something that my husband will deny in future years without photographic evidence. He tends to repress uncomfortable experiences to the point of completely blocking them from his memory! Certainly petting a cat will fall into this category.)

As we were leaving the party with our kids, I again exclaimed at the wonder of Jeff petting a Cat!

Jeff remarked that he was just trying to be a good guest—embracing, rather than recoiling at the experience of the cat jumping up to sit beside him on the table.

He explained the nature of his experience with Cats…

“Unlike Dogs, Cats want to know if you're friend or foe (most Dogs assume you're friend).

So, if you ignore a Cat when you first meet it, the Cat will seek you out to determine friend / foe. Therefore, the quickest way to get rid of a Cat is to initially pet it and then ignore it. This establishes you as a unreliable friend and practically insures the Cat will never bother you again.

Put yourself in the Cat's position: if a guy flirted with you at a bar and then ignored you for the rest of the night, how would you feel?”

Is it a wonder that this (Cat) guy ever got married?! Good thing he connected with a Dog like me…

“It’s funny,” I said, “That you hate Cats so much, when, really, you are a Cat.”

"What?"

“They say there are two different kinds of people—Cats or Dogs. You are definitely a Cat. You keep your distance. People—you can take or leave. You are naturally aloof. As long as your bowl has food and your litter box is clean, you are pretty well satisfied.”

“In our family, Jeff and Savannah are Cats. Carson and I are Dogs.”

“What?!” exclaimed Savannah! “I don’t want to be a Cat!”

“Sorry, honey, you’re a Cat like your dad.”

“No!”

“Let’s think about Dogs. They love people! They are happy! They would rather have a walk and a belly rub and a little attention than anything.”

“But everybody loves Dogs!”

“It’s not about being popular. Angelina Jolie is a Cat! Sean Penn is a Cat! George Clooney is a Dog! They all have Oscars!”

Some people like Cats and most people like Dogs—it’s a matter of personal preference. You might admire a Cat from afar, but not want to get too close. Sometimes people even like Cats more because they are so hard to like.

Tilda Swinton, for example.

But, the clincher…

“A Dog would rather play ball in the yard than cruise Wikipedia for Twilight references.”

“OK, I guess I am a Cat," Savannah relented.

“Fine," I said. Dog that I am, giving her a hug, “Luckily, I like Cats AND Dogs.”